The Positive “NO”

Author: Dr Joseph Reed

Views: 69

Power of the positive "NO", how to say "NO" in a positive way

Time and again we encounter interactions whether at home, work, school or even in our communities that present us with questions where “No” is the much-needed response.  Whether we concede or not to that much-needed response is the real question. For some people, saying “No” is easy. We admire them. They don’t have this indestructible desire to please people.  But instead, they use their “Yes’s” wisely and hand out “No’s” like a Ticketmaster at the movie theater handing out stubs.  

Have you ever noticed how effortless it is for a toddler to say “No”? They tend to say it with such passion and conviction.  Now, we aren’t encouraging toddler-like behavior, as practicing the art of controlling our emotions plays a significant role in saying “No” appropriately. However,  it can be recognized that they know what they don’t want and they aren’t afraid to say it.  Often fear itself is what holds us back from telling someone “No”.  Fear of damaging a relationship, fear of disappointing someone, fear of coming across rude, fear of an uncomfortable conflict, the list could go on.  But for our own sanity and self-awareness, we have to stop being so afraid.  Our feelings of empathy and complacent-ness are usually what provokes us to say Yes. There comes a time when we have to accept we are not everyone’s problem solvers. So, let us together embrace our brave, more mature inner toddler and just say “No”! 🙂

Using a positive “No” will create time for us to focus on our own effectiveness. When we tell someone “No” we’re not necessarily in disagreement with them but it allows us to at minimum set boundaries.  Underestimating the importance of our own time by fighting other people’s fires can no longer take precedence. This will likely result in a lack of our own productivity.  There are ways to say “No” without ever having to say “No”.  Watch the video above to master the art of a positive approach on relinquishing this word “No” from our vocabulary.